Female Playoff Beard?

Hockey is one of the great loves of my life. Tomorrow marks the start of this season's playoffs, and as always, I'm stoked for it to begin. I've been a Pittsburgh Penguins fan for as long as I can remember. Over the years I graduated from being a Pens fan, to being a hockey fan, meaning I know more players than just the Pens, and I also learned the rules of the game and the hand signals that the refs use for penalties. I even started paying attention to the overall standings, the plight of the sport as a whole, etc. etc. 

During all this time, I have participated in many fun, traditional hockey activities. I grew up with two older brothers who also loved hockey; one who threw shoes at me if I wasn't in the room for the start of the game. I've also been to numerous Pens games, both home and away, as well as during the good times and the bad.  I've also played the various video games, starting with the amazing Blades of Steel, with my all-time favorite game being NHL Hits. I even played a little hockey when my brothers would literally duct tape me into hockey goalie pads that were too big for me so that they could play a pick-up game down at the park. 

As we all got older, they began to participate in the playoff beard tradition. I, being a non-hairy, fair-skinned female, cannot grow a beard, and therefore cannot participate in this tradition. Every year I feel left out in that I can only live vicariously through my male friends as they grow their beards. And every year I ask for suggestions on what I can do to participate. I always get the same one: don't shave my legs. But, seriously? Gross. Nobody wants to see that. A Google search provided a few options from other folks, such as the Wangs fans who wear bracelets. Wikipedia says that there is a movement for female fans to not shave their arm pits, but again, gross. The writers over at Chicks Who Give a Puck recommend dying strands of hair, or painting finger nails. I am dissatisfied with all of these options. The jewelry option does not seem to have the level of permanence that the essence of the beard has. I refuse to have hairy legs or pits, as it is uncomfortable and would make me feel gross. And while I agree with the chicks who give who puck that the female version should be something natural, dying hair or painting nails does add an expense that the beard does not. However, with the playoffs starting tomorrow, and having no better idea of what to do myself, I think I will do both the hair (if I can find cheap dye) as well as bracelets, as that would show wins and losses. And perhaps by next year, I'll have found the perfect solution. 

Go Pens!

Today's Wit: "McGrath: Good crowd out there tonight, boys, let's really try to win this one.

Ned Braden: You have to hand it to the old bastard, he's highly original.

Jim Ahern: That man traveled 15 hours by bus to sat that?!" - Slap Shot